Naming Shit is Hard, So I Won't

I'm basically Han Solo...with boobs.

Sep 29

I decided to get drunk to write my paper. It worked for Earnest Hemingway, so who am I to question it?!


Sep 24
Currently driving 10 mph.  Ready to just fling myself out of the car, it’s that painful. Then Dave Matthews came on the radio.  Lord, just take me now.   There’s only so much one person can take.

Currently driving 10 mph. Ready to just fling myself out of the car, it’s that painful. Then Dave Matthews came on the radio. Lord, just take me now. There’s only so much one person can take.


Sep 23

That

The word “that” is almost never necessary. So, the next time you want to use it…don’t.

Also, I am paying a man to look at my vagina today.

These two things are not related. Other than their often unnecessariness.


Sep 21
This swing set needs me

This swing set needs me

(via notoriousjes)


Sep 19
Best. Shirt.  Ever.

Best. Shirt. Ever.


Sep 17

Anonymous said: Are you married/single/boyfriend?

Yes.


Sep 15

If I ever win the lottery…

I’m going to rent a midget to play with my hair while I watch the entire series of Fringe on Netflix.


Sep 14

So…

Pretty much fucking hate everything at this moment. Yay!!!


Sep 10

It’s not a tumah

It’s a cyst. I think I’ll name it Joey.


Well…

THAT fucking hurt. My boobs are all red now. Can’t help but believe a man or a woman with really ugly tits invented this process.

But I did get fondled a lot, so….


Page 1 of 11